A Week Full of Saturdays

If you have to stay home during your time off then the best thing you can have is a week full of days that all feel like Saturday! To top it all off we had church at the park today and we couldn’t have had a more perfect morning for it.

HUMOR IN UNEXPECTED PLACES. I got to spend Thursday morning with my cousin Amanda and we had a wonderful time. Since Sarah and Jason didn’t have a chance to see our museum here in Cross Plains Amanda decided to come back and check it out with me as the museum has a lot of pictures of interest, most notably for us: senior class pictures of Mom and Aunt Linda’s classes, basketball team pictures from when Mom and Aunt Linda played ball, and an old group school picture with their mother, Nellie, in it. (We have very few pictures of Nellie.)

Amanda and I had a great time together, but what started the day off with a laugh was when I decided to pull out Nellie’s old high school diploma to show Amanda. (Nellie is my grandmother and Amanda’s great grandmother.) Nellie graduated in 1923. Her diploma is framed and is in great shape, however, the brown paper used to cover the back of the frame was so old and brittle I decided it was a lost cause to try to keep it so I brushed it into the trash. That’s when I discovered the text printed on the cardboard used to hold the diploma in place. Part of the text was cut away when the cardboard was trimmed to fit the frame but what survives brought a chuckle.

The cardboard must have been from a box that held a burial vault that was made by the Champion Chemical Company on Springfield, Ohio. (A little research on the web and I see they are still in business.) According to what’s printed here the vault was not only rust proof but ghoul proof as well!

That’s right. You did read it correctly. “Ghoul proof” is not a typo on my part. Boy, that leaves a lot of unanswered questions!

By the way, the diploma features something of a transcript showing the subjects in which Nellie earned credits. These include Arithmetic, Algebra, Plane Geometry, English Grammar, Rhetoric, English Literature, American Literature, Beginners’ Latin, Caesar, Cicero, Ancient History, Medieval and Modern History, American History, Biology, Chemistry, Sewing, and Cooking.

END OF AN ERA. I suppose I’ve eaten my last meal at Thomas Drugs. After 23 years Debbie Greene is closing the lunch counter (the soda fountain will continue to serve ice cream, milk shakes, and other treats). Amanda, Mom, and I ate there Thursday. Mom and I also ate there Monday. They’ve had a steady stream of people like us trying to squeeze a last meal in. We will miss them, but I think some of their recipes will show up on the menu at True’s Barbecue.

YOU OWE ME. Several weeks ago Kenny hired the kids to help him pick apples for a couple of afternoons. Last week he asked them to give him their hours so he could settle up and this week he sent them a check. Kenny being Kenny he decided to mess with Nate so Nate got a slip of paper with the following written on it:

Received Bill as Follows

Jenna: $15
Benton: $12
Nate: $6
---------------
Total: $33

Deduct

Taxes @ 20%: $6.60
Sponge rental: $1.20
Apron Use: $0.50
Water: $0.70
---------------
Total: $9.00

Deduct from lowest amount.

Pay
Jenna: $15
Benton: $12

Nate owes me $3.00 [This was underlined and highlighted.]
Please pay ASAP

Nate was astonished. We all knew about this and played along. After he had fussed a bit I finally said, “Nate, I think you need to take this up with Mr. Kenny. Do you want me to drive you over there?” Well, he did, so we went.

The first thing out of Nate’s mouth when we got there was, “Mr. Kenny, you are an unfair man.” Nate listened patiently as Kenny launched into this long dissertation about how we all have to pay taxes, etc. He even offered to work for free but Kenny would have none of that (though he did knock 50¢ off the bill since Nate never used an apron). And when Kenny got done Nate insisted that he was still an unfair man. Of course, Kenny came clean before we left, letting Nate know he had done a good job and that he had earned his $6 without owing anything. It was very funny.

You know, I’m proud of Nate on a couple of levels here. First of all, he took the joke very well. He doesn’t like it that I’m writing this up, but I told him he’d look back on this someday and laugh. Of course, now he’s trying to figure out how to get Kenny back (Kenny, you have been warned).

On another level I am proud of the way Nate acted when he didn’t know this was a joke. Sure, he was upset to think he had to pay $3 to pick Kenny’s apples, but he decided to go and confront Kenny about it and did so with more professionalism than you would expect from a ten year old. He took up for himself and didn’t back down from his position. I was very glad to see that.

Joe