Catching Up

I’ve hardly reported anything about us these last couple of weeks so it is time to catch up. May has been a month of extremes. We started with record breaking rains. Then it got cool enough we needed to turn the heat on at night. This week has been hot. I think we may have even set a record. It makes me wonder what this summer holds.

AGRICULTURAL ENDEAVORS. Last spring I planted strawberries in our garden spot. They did really well this year and would have lasted longer had we gotten a little less rain. Vicki and the kids really enjoyed them. My garden is now confined to eight large pots (tomotos and squash). Weeding it will be easy!

WINDING UP THE SCHOOL YEAR. It’s hard to believe the school year comes to a close this week. Ben is tickled there are no more spelling words! Many classes are getting field trips in now. Jenna got to go on a Jr. Beta trip to Holiday World last Friday. She said they got soaking wet on all the rides. The boys have had trips as well. The kids are enjoying Field Day at school this week.

ADVANCEMENT. The boys have been active in Cub Scouts this year. Nate was awarded his Tiger patch at last month’s pack meeting so he’s moving on to be a Wolf now. Ben earned his Bear patch at Monday night’s pack meeting so now he’s a Webelow. I think they’ve enjoyed Scouts this year. They’re signed up for a Cub Scout twilight camp in a couple of weeks and they’re looking forward to it.

RESIDENT ARTIST. A retired gentleman in our community, Gordon Killebrew, spent some free this past winter in his shop making birdhouses from scrap lumber. He made dozens of birdhouses. He stopped by Aunt Mar’s and put one up in her back yard. There are a pair of blue birds nesting there and Aunt Mar has enjoyed watching them from her den.

Mr. Killebrew took most of his birdhouses to school and gave them to all the third graders. The students were told to paint them and the best looking ones would be hung up at Kilgore Park. Ben painted his birdhouse all by himself (I showed him how to spray on the base coat of paint). One side has a flower in the sun. The other shows a bird singing from a tree branch. The front reads, “Home Tweet Home.” I think he did a great job with it in spite of the fact it wasn’t chosen for the park. That’s okay, we’ve got plenty of trees for it here.

YEARBOOKS. It’s that time of the school year when the school yearbook comes out. Of course, a big part of this is getting all your friends to sign your annual. Jenna’s friend, Mackenzie, has a crush on a boy at their school, but since she is a bit shy she asked Jenna to take her yearbook to the boy for him to sign for her. Jenna, being the good friend that she is, did this favor for Mackenzie.

A few moments later Mackenzie decided Jenna needed the boy’s signature and told her she needed to take her own yearbook to the boy for him to sign. Jenna, being the dutiful friend that she is, did this too. The funny thing was that the first time the boy simply assumed Jenna was Mackenzie so when Jenna returned he looked at the name on the cover of the book and inquired, “Who’s Jenna?” Without missing a beat Jenna gave a flick of her hand in Mackenzie’s general direction and replied, “Oh, she’s that girl over there.”

SHENANIGANS. Life is no fun if you don’t bring a little mischief to it every now and then. I will always remember the day Leslie Hancock came into our office (Jeff Crawford and I put him up to this) and began messing with Melinda by telling her he was from Alabama and had taken a cab to Springfield to pay a traffic ticket. Within twenty minutes he had cooked up this wild tale of who he was and what he was doing I was doubled over laughing. Melinda was about ready to call the police on the crazy man before we told her he is my cousin.

Aunt Helen (and Lynn) also got a last laugh on Bro. Bill. As I wrote a few weeks ago, Aunt Helen passed away on Thursday, April 29. Her funeral was that Monday, but we couldn’t bury her until the next Thursday (May 6) due to all the rain. The rest is best told by Bro. Bill himself (quoted from his blog at http://crossplainspeaking.blogspot.com/ -- keep in mind the funeral service was held at church).

It was probably predictable that even her funeral would have to negotiate some opposing circumstances. The excessive rains would make it nearly impossible to bury the remains on Monday. So the decision was to wait until later in the week. No doubt, Mrs. Helen would have gotten a chuckle out of it. She had a great sense of humor. We all loved that about her.

So on Sunday evening at the funeral home, Cindy and I stood with her family remembering the good times. Lynn, her son, greeted everyone with love and care. Without blinking an eye, he began to tell me what I already knew about his mother’s commitment to our church and her love for me—her pastor and friend.

“Bro. Bill, you know over the last ten years my mother hasn’t been able to be at church the way she wanted. She’s missed being in the new sanctuary and taking part in all that’s been going on. You know too how much she loved you.” I nodded with appropriate pastoral sensitivity and humility. Lynn continued, “We have decided that instead of transporting her body back to the funeral home, we will just wheel her into your office and leave her there until later in the week. We believe that’s what she would want.”

I stood there, in pastoral pose, calm and collected. After all, I am a seminary graduate and beyond that, I have been sharpening certain pastoral skills for quite a few years now. I even have the grey hair to prove it! All the while my mind was racing, “Are you kidding me?... I guess I can do that… Sure I can...I think I can manage that for a few days… Is that even legal?”

“Sure,” I responded. “That will be perfectly alright. I know how much Mrs. Helen loved Mt. Carmel. And I loved her.” No sooner than I had choked up these words, Lynn began to laugh. He got me! And Mrs. Helen, I’m sure, loved every bit of it!

I'm sure she did.

Joe

A Hard Goodbye

Friday, after picking the boys up from Mom and Aunt Mar’s (Jenna was away on a Jr. Beta trip), we stopped by church to see Vicki for a moment. When we got there Ben asked if he could go out to the cemetery alone. It is heartbreaking to know that your nine year old son is going out to the graveyard to visit one of his best friends.

Ben is like me in that he is extremely private with his feelings, sometimes to the point of seeming flippant in times like this. In this post, I want to write about Ethan’s funeral and particularly how Ben has handled it.

Last week I said that Ben was probably handling Ethan’s death better than the rest of us. Well, it took a couple of days for this to really hit him. By Wednesday morning he had an upset stomach and was late to school. This happened again Thursday morning.

These two mornings afforded Vicki and Ben some time where they could talk about Ethan. Many of the things they talked about Vicki has shared with me. I will respect my son’s privacy here and only say that he has been working through some very deep emotions.

When we went to Ethan’s visitation at church Wednesday night Ben had to stop and sit down as soon as he walked in the door of the sanctuary. We sat with him on the back row and watched pictures for about 20 minutes until he was ready to go meet the family. I will say Farris, Robin, and Lanna did very well throughout the whole funeral process. When it came Ben’s turn to express his condolences Robin, Ethan’s mom, and Ben hugged for 20-30 seconds -- something that is highly uncharacteristic of my son. After taking some time to view Ethan’s body Ben left the room.

Later, as the time for visiting was coming to an end, Ben wanted to go look at Ethan again. At first there were several people around the casket so he had a hard time seeing. After a moment he gave up and sat by me. We talked some and then he went to sit hidden from view behind some flowers. This was when Sherry Parker was a fairy godmother to my son (more on this in the next paragraph). When some of the people moved away from the casket Ben went to look at his friend. Then he did something I have never been able to do -- he reached out and placed his hand on Ethan’s shoulder.

Thursday morning Ben wrote Ethan a letter. Sherry Parker suggested to Ben that he do this. Sherry has been Ethan’s author on his CaringBridge website (see http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/bibb). She is also known as his Fairy Godmother and has been a special source of strength for the Bibb family. As I mentioned above, Sherry spent some time with Ben behind the flowers at the visitation Wednesday night and it was then that she suggested he write Ethan a letter. Ben spent about 20 minutes on his letter. No one but Ben knows what he wrote. He placed it in Ethan’s casket before the funeral. I think her suggestion helped Ben have some closure because after writing the letter Ben told Vicki he wouldn’t need to be late for school any more.

The funeral service on Thursday evening was beautiful. Ben did very well. Our sanctuary, which seats around 800, was as full as it has ever been. Among those who sang were Marilyn Kahn, a close friend of the Bibbs and Ethan’s third grade teacher. I’ve never heard her sound better. Emma Shultz, a friend and schoolmate of Ethan’s, also sang and did an outstanding job. (It was said that Ethan had a crush on Emma.) Bro. Bill spoke. He is so gifted in finding the right things to say when people need comfort. Sherry Parker also spoke and read a story she wrote for Ethan (with his input) about a rainbow which was Ethan’s magical place to escape to when he was in pain. The person who spoke that I will remember the most was Farris, Ethan’s dad.

Thursday was a wet, messy day. I heard it said the sky was crying for Ethan. We had a break in the rain when it was time for the graveside service. A large number of people slogged out to the cemetery. After Bro. Bill offered some final words a Marine presented Robin with a Christian flag. Then Lesley McDaniel (see http://www.lesleymcdaniel.com/) sang “It Is Well” a cappella (his voice echoed beautifully off the trees beside the cemetery). When it was over many people reported seeing a rainbow as they were driving home.

Joe

The Battle Is Over

Ethan Bibb ended his long, hard battle with cancer yesterday afternoon. I feel like our community has been holding it’s collective breath waiting for that terrible news. The latest updates on Ethan have been heart breaking (see http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/bibb). The results of the MRIs taken this year have not been what anyone was hoping for. In the last few weeks they've had to discontinue treatments as Ethan's counts were too low.

Ethan had actually gotten quite a bit stronger with the chemo out of his system. He has been able to do a lot of things he hasn't had the strength to do in quite a while. He had a wonderful day at a Titans football practice with his own locker right next to Vince Young's locker.

Last weekend Ethan got sick. A trip to the hospital revealed pneumonia. He was simply too weak to fight it. If a family ever needed prayers it is the Bibb family right now.

A few weeks ago Ben was invited to spend a Friday afternoon with Ethan. Vicki took Ben over right after school and they had several wonderful hours together. Ethan was feeling well enough to talk, play the Wii, and ride a four-wheeler. Later that evening Ben tagged along to a church benefit for Ethan. Ethan even sang a couple of karaoke songs (Ben was too shy for that).

I’m glad Ethan and Ben had that time together a few weeks ago. They had not gotten to see each other much in the 14 months since Ethan’s diagnosis. So far Ben has done very well with this news. I think he is a lot like me in that he does not wear emotions like this on his sleeve. He’s also heard us be thankful recently that both Grandma Jones and Aunt Helen are no longer suffering but are completely healed and living in God’s presence. Ben knows the same is true for Ethan and is probably handling things better than the rest of us. Praise God we have a Savior who has conquered death for us so we can have that comfort in a time of loss.

Again, please keep the Bibb family in your prayers.

Joe

The Flood of '10

It was pretty all last week. Then rain moved in Saturday. We knew this one would be big. By Sunday, May 2, meteorologists were saying this was the wettest May on record. They were also saying we got the highest rainfall since records have been kept. This weather event has interrupted the lives of thousands of people for months to come. The pictures on TV have truly (and hopefully) been once in a lifetime images. This event preempted all regular programming for the weekend. We have gotten 12-18 inches of rain in this area. To put this in perspective, that’s at least 25% of our average annual rainfall in a 48 hour period.

THE EFFECTS OF FLOODING. I don’t want to ignore the damage to residential areas where people lost everything, but there is simply too much to describe. Besides, I’m sure videos on YouTube do a much better job of showing that anyway, but to touch on a few major landmarks: a section of I-24 near Hickory Hollow Mall has been closed because it was under water (there were pictures of a portable from a nearby school floating down the interstate) and many businesses in the area submerged, LP Field where the Titans play is underwater, the new Schermerhorn Symphony Center has experienced considerable damage, there’s water covering the ice where the Predators play hockey, Opryland Hotel and Opry Mills Mall have been flooded and will be months reopening. The saddest part are the 19 reported deaths in Tennessee.

Robertson County really dodged the bullet on this one compared to other areas of Middle Tennessee. For one thing we sit on high ground here atop the Highland Rim where Nashville, Antioch, Lebanon, Franklin, etc., are all down in the Central Basin which makes up the valley surrounding the Cumberland River. We’ve had our flooding and road closures, but nothing in comparison with other areas. I know our fairgrounds are a wreck and Highway 49 between Springfield and Coopertown has been closed as well as many back roads that cross rivers. Customers of the White House Utility District (this includes us) were asked to conserve water yesterday while crews repaired a series of water main leaks. Schools were closed yesterday and again today due to these problems.

IN OTHER NEWS... East Robertson High School is a cool school! We always knew that, but ERHS was featured Friday as Channel 4’s Cool School. Each Friday they feature a cool school during the morning newscast (before the Today show airs). Students who wanted to be part of this broadcast had to be at school by 4:30 that morning (so much for sleep) and they were allowed to leave at 11:30. Jenna went but was not on any of the featured segments on TV. Her school day consisted of one huge pep rally/party while the news crew was there. Since the day was a wash educationally they also got their yearbooks.

BOOKS, THE OTHER CHANNEL. Benton has become a reader. I never would have predicted this -- not even as recently as Christmas. This spring he has become more and more interested in reading a good story and it is not uncommon to see him holed up somewhere with a book. In just the last few weeks Ben has come from behind to have the most Accelerated Reader points in his class.

I had to laugh yesterday when I saw him reading in his room. He had taken their Buzz Lightyear play tent and blocked off a corner of his and Nate’s bedroom and hung a sign on the tent that read “Quiet Place.” When I looked over the tent he was sprawled out on a beanbag with his book.

CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE HOOVED KIND. We are so used to walking between our house and Pauline’s house at night we think nothing of going without a flashlight. One recent night I went over there for something and thought I saw a large object about 50 feet out in the wheat field beside my path. Since there was no moon I almost dismissed it as my eyes playing tricks on me, but on the return trip I noticed the object wasn’t there. A few nights later Vicki was walking the same path when she heard something running toward her. Turns out a deer ran across her path about twenty feet in front of her. Now I know my eyes weren’t playing tricks on me.

AUNT HELEN’S FIGHT IS OVER. We got word Thursday night that Aunt Helen passed away. Since Uncle Paul’s death a little over three years ago she had been the last of my father’s siblings left.

The last decade has not been kind to Aunt Helen. Uncle Biddie had been sick and died in 2000. Then Aunt Ruth’s health began to fail and Aunt Helen began to take care of her. In the middle of this, and a few weeks after Ben’s first birthday, Aunt Helen had to have a knee replacement. In early 2002 a staph infection set in and this began a long, slow decline of her health. She was in and out of the hospital a lot back then and some time around 2005 she was no longer able to live at home. Recently Aunt Helen got another nasty infection and she simply wasn’t strong enough to fight it off.

Aunt Helen was always a cut up. She had something going on all the time. If she didn’t make you laugh there was something wrong with you. The thing I admire most about Aunt Helen is that in spite of all the illness she lived through she did her very best to keep a positive attitude and find the joy in life. I don’t think I have the emotional grit to do that if I were in her shoes.

I always liked to go to Aunt Helen’s house because she was so fun. Mom worked at Hancocks Loosefloor when I was in elementary school. When we were out for snow Aunt Helen would be one of the people Mom would ask to keep me for the day. One day I noticed two new pictures in her den. One was of half a barn, cut off on the left, and the other was half a barn, cut off on the right. I told Aunt Helen I thought those were the same barn. She said she didn’t know, but had bought them because she liked them. The next snow day I took my drawing pad to Aunt Helens and we both sat at the kitchen table and sketched those two pictures. I took care to measure my sketches from the original and when I put the two papers together the halves of the barn did match. My complete barn hangs over my computer. Every time I look at it I think about those warm, nurturing, fun times I had with Aunt Helen.

Another time when we had a snow day Aunt Helen went out to get the mail and I locked her out of the house. I stood at the back door and laughed at her for a minute or two before letting her in. She enjoyed me doing that and we laughed about it many times over the years. I fully expect her to shut the gates of Heaven when I get there and laugh at me from inside before letting me in.

Joe