Mr. John on a Ferryboat

I can’t believe Halloween has rolled around again! But here we are carving pumpkins and getting costumes ready for tomorrow night.

PUMPKIN SHOPPING. We’ve been trying to get over to Steve and Connie Freeland’s to walk their corn maze and get a pumpkin for weeks. It has worked out that every time we had a chance to go we got rain. (The weather even cancelled a field trip for Jenna last week.) This afternoon worked out to be perfect weather. Unfortunately the corn maze had taken a beating from several storms, but the kids enjoyed running through it regardless of its condition.

We came home with a really nice pumpkin. After a bit of looking online Ben decided he wanted to carve a ghost on it. We won’t be home to receive trick-or-treaters tomorrow night, but we’ll leave our jack-o-lantern outside to keep watch on things.

A DAY OF FUN. One of Ben’s best friends is Ethan Bibb. Ethan invited Ben and Wil Swann to celebrate his sixth birthday Saturday. They went to Chuck E. Cheese’s for lunch and returned to Ethan’s house to play away the afternoon. We got one wound up boy back after the fun was over.

BLESSED BY ANOTHER. If you’ve ever been to our church on a Sunday morning chances are real good that Harry Wilson greeted you and shook your hand. That has been his ministry at Mt. Carmel ever since I can remember. Mr. Harry suffered a heart attack Wednesday. His funeral was yesterday. As folks around here reflect on his life we all feel like he raised the bar on living for Christ. One of my fondest memories growing up was riding in his combine with him whenever he was harvesting grain in the field across the road. I spent hours in that combine with him and would have gladly skipped school for more time. They say Saint Peter mans the gate of Heaven. I would not be surprised to know that Harry Wilson is right beside Peter.

ARE YOU A GENIUS? Have you ever played the peg game while waiting for your food at Cracker Barrel? Do you win consistently or are you proud to be “plain dumb” every now and then? A recent trip to Cracker Barrel got Jenna and me talking about the peg game. Many years ago Uncle J C taught me how to solve the puzzle. Jenna got her peg game out and asked me to teach her. Now she can wow and amaze all her friends.

With this on my mind I decided to search Google for “peg game solutions.” What I read was totally amazing. At least two people out there with too much time on their hands have written computer programs to find all the possible solutions to the peg game -- all 131,448 unique solutions that will allow you to claim the title of “genius.” So, are you feeling like an “eg-no-ra-moose” now?

By the way, if you don’t want to cheat but want a tip, start with the empty hole at the middle of one of the sides of the triangle, not in a corner. About two thirds of the solutions start from this position.

MR. JOHN CROSSING THE CUMBERLAND ON A FERRYBOAT (4 of 4--by Nola Simmons). Once upon a time Mr. John and his son were crossing the Cumberland River on a ferryboat. They just rode the car onto the ferryboat and forgot to close the gate!

Mr. John decided he would climb over on the back seat of the car and trim his toenails while they were crossing the river. He took off his shoes and socks and proped one foot upon the back of the front seat and started trimming his toenails. As Mr. John started trimming--the boat started moving--and the car started rolling backwards until caplunge! right into the river went the car, Mr. John, toenails and all. Now what do you think Mr. John did? Y--when that car started down in the water, Mr. John started coming out of that car. He kicked, and kicked, and kicked, until at long last he kicked himself to the top of the water. His son helped him to the banks, where he stood barefooted; soaking wet from the skin out; and even his goat-tee was dripping. But what did Mr. John say? As he quivered and shook, he just stroked his goat-tee said, “By Granny, safe at last!”

NOTE: Aunt Mar remembers hearing this story. She feels this happened in the shallow water as they did retrieve the car. I’m sure this took care of any lingering new car smell.

Joe

Mr. John and Ice Cream

We have had several rainy days this week, but they have been balanced with some really pretty days as well. Our trees are at their peak which makes me wish they would keep their fall colors longer.

HEALING. Jenna got an extra day of fall break as Vicki took her to the doctor to check on her arm on Monday. They took the splint off and her arm was stiff and sore, but she could move it without major discomfort. By Friday she had left her sling behind and was regaining normal use of her right hand.

INDOOR TRAMPOLINE. Will and Darice have a waterbed which was a new thing for Nate when he discovered it at their house last week. The other day Nate found Vicki in our bedroom folding clothes. Climbing on our bed he observed, “Hey Mom, you don’t have a waterbed. You’ve got a jumping bed!” Then he proceeded to prove it.

BODY ART. Another day this week Nate came into the bathroom where Vicki was sorting clothes (I think laundry takes up 50% of her time). He had pulled his right arm inside his shirt and wanted Vicki to leave the bathroom so he could wash his hands. Knowing something was up she told him to go ahead and wash as he wouldn’t bother her. He kept insisting that she leave. This continued for a bit until she finally coaxed him to put his arm back in his shirt sleeve which revealed a dark blue hand and wrist with lines drawn up his arm. Fortunately he had found washable markers and it came off easily.

THE COST OF LIVING. Our washing machine began leaking oil about two years. When the repair man looked at it he told us it would cost more to fix it than to buy a new one and recommended we run it until it died. It washed its last load back on the 6th as Vicki was getting our clothes ready for our trip. We bought a new one to replace it this week.

Due to the size and shape of our bathroom our dryer blocks our washer in. When they came to install the washer they told Vicki that they aren’t allowed to touch a gas dryer and they left. This left the installation job to me after work. Our old washer had serious walking problems and its front feet sat in two rubber coasters which were glued to the floor. In trying to lift the washer out of the coasters I ripped the vinyl floor in a very obvious spot. I was sick when I looked down and saw it. For now Vicki has covered it with a bathroom rug. Nate, calling it a “comfy, blue bed,” wants to sleep on it.

WOMEN’S RETREAT. This weekend Vicki went on a retreat with 26 other women from church. They went to Horton Haven Christian Camp near Lewisburg, Tennessee. She said it was the perfect setting...beautiful weather and surroundings, no children, no cooking, no laundry, etc. They enjoyed Bible study and lots of fun and games. It sounds like everyone had a great time.

MR. JOHN LIKED ICE CREAM (3 of 4-- by Nola Simmons). A long, long time ago, way back when I was a little girl, we used to have ice cream suppers.

On one summer night daddy, mammy, Billie, Anna and I took our ice cream freezer and went across the field to Mr. Len and Miss Scrap’s house [roughly where Steve and Elaine Fisher live today]. John and Robbie [Randolph] were there and Mr. John and Miss Angie came down. You see, Mr. John and Miss Angie lived up the road--that’s why they came down.

When we had ice cream suppers out where I live, we didn’t just serve one saucer full and stop at that, but we made two or three gallons of ice cream and everybody ate all the saucers full that their tummies could hold. Now sometimes, especially if the weather was awfully hot, Mr. John’s tummy could hold a lot of ice cream.

The women folks would make up the ice cream and pour it into the freezer. The men would chip up the ice and pack it with salt. Now everybody would take turns turning that freezer round and round until it got so hard you couldn’t turn it any more. Then the men would put more chipped ice and salt around it and leave it for a little while to ripen.

On this hot summer night they made and froze three gallons of ice cream. Everybody ate until their tummies couldn’t hold another bite. Mr. John had had nine saucers full. As he sat scraping out the last tiny bit of ice cream, Miss Scrap said, “Pap, you needn’t be licking out your saucer, they ain’t no more!” Mr John just stroked his goat-tee and said, “By Granny, don’t care, ‘twant good nohow.”

NOTE: Nola Simmons’ parents were Lee Simmons and Clara Jones. When Clara died Lee married Chloe Fyke. They had seven children in addition to the ones mentioned above. For those of you who rode the school bus with me, one of their boys is Mr. Guthrie Simmons, our bus driver.

Joe

A Relaxing Vacation

We have had a wonderful vacation this week. No one wanted it to end. We had a great time visiting family and Will and Darice live in one of the most picturesque areas of the country to boot. Here's how our trip went. (By the way, the "Mr. John" stories will resume in the next edition.)

DESTINATION CONFUSION. We pointed our van toward Waynesboro, Virginia, about 7:30 Monday morning. We stopped frequently, so it took us about 12 hours to get to our destination.

The kids were really excited about seeing their cousins and we got plenty of "Are we there yet?" Nate was very excited about seeing Alex and Chris (our cousins in Florida) and mentioned seeing them frequently. Each time he did the conversation would go something like this:

"Nate, we aren't going to see Alex and Chris."

"We're not?"

"No."

"Where are we going?"

"To see Cameron, Zachary and Emily."

And every time he would say, "Oh," like this was all news to him. It would start all over again in 30 minutes. These conversations continued on our journey back to Tennessee. This morning Ben gave Nate “cousin identification” lessons using pictures on the fridge saying, “Emily belongs with this family, not with Alex and Chris.” These lessons will probably continue for some time.

PLAY TIME. We spent Tuesday staying around the house letting the kids play together and they had a blast. All the kids have really played well together the whole time.

The Jones kids have all changed since we saw them in February. Of course, Emily has changed the most. She is talking some now. She and I traded winks at the supper table until she got too shy to look at me. One trick of hers is when someone taps or hums the “shave and a haircut” rhythm she will tap or hum the “two bits” response.

One thing the kids did Tuesday was make a movie. Cameron has a digital camera. He flipped on the movie function and they made up a bank robbery story and shot it. It was really cute.

Cameron and Zachary had soccer practice that evening and we all went along. While at the soccer field Jenna decided to try and stand on a soccer ball. The ball rolled out from under her and she fell hard on her elbow. After a trip to the ER she is now sporting a sling on her right arm. The x-ray didn't show a fracture but she'll keep the splint they put on until her doctor makes a decision about it Monday. The splint starts on the upper arm and includes her hand.

Jenna has taken the restriction very well. One day after eating she announced that she was going to the bathroom to “wash her hand.” Another day she pulled on a shirt that has "Soccer Champ" on the front. Seeing this she commented, "I guess I'm not much of one anymore."

BOOK FAIR. Wednesday we went to the Green Valley Book Fair. It is a large warehouse in the middle of the country that has thousands of books for sale. We found some good deals and also got some Christmas shopping done. Ben was, of course, bored within 30 seconds of our arrival. After loading up with books we went to eat at Cici's Pizza and then headed home.

AT THE ORCHARD. Will took a vacation day Thursday (they recently enjoyed a 16 day trip to England and Ireland so he doesn't have much vacation left this year) and we all went to the Carter Mountain Orchard. The orchard overlooks Charlottesville and offers a spectacular view of the surrounding country. We took in a hay ride and picked a few apples for ourselves. Then we went to Charlottesville for a late lunch and came home so the kids could play together.

We stopped for Emily to have her first haircut on the way home. I’m afraid she won’t know how to act the next time she needs a trim without a 10 person audience.

GIRLS SHOPPING DAY. On Friday all the girls went shopping and left all the boys at home (minus Will who was at work). We played a Lego construction game, video games, etc. When the womenfolk returned Zachary had piano lessons. We all went to the city park to feed the ducks and play on the playground while Zachary tickled the ivories.

We got around to grilling steaks Friday night. Each day we would eat such a big and late lunch that no one felt like eating steak. We didn’t make that mistake this time and it was delicious! For dessert we had apple pie made from the apples we had picked the day before.

SCRABBLE. The Jones Scrabble tournaments began Wednesday night. (I skip out on these games as they start around my bedtime and Scrabble isn’t my forté.) Will, Darice, Pauline and Vicki really go at it and bragging rights are always the prize. Upon our departure Vicki claimed two games and Will three games. Pauline and Darice are not push-overs by any means, but the brother-sister competition is very fierce.

HEADING HOME. We pointed our van toward home Saturday. It was a sad parting. They were great hosts which made leaving even more difficult. We didn’t make as many stops and got home in 10 hours. It was nice to settle in our own beds last night.

Joe

Mr. John's First Car

No sooner than I wrote that it was beginning to feel like fall than the temps hit the mid 80s. This only lasted for a few days though. Now things are cooling off and the trees are really starting to show their colors. And the best part is that Fall Break began Friday. A whole week off! We will be on the road tomorrow to visit Will, Darice and their kids. Pauline is going too, so we’ll have a Jones family reunion!

ENGLISH IS HARD TO READ. Unfortunately, our language is not completely phonetic. Jenna found a list of birthstones the other day and came in to inform Vicki that her birthstone is “turkey-os-key.” I sympathize with her. Turquoise is hard to read when it’s the first time you’ve ever seen the word.

EXCITEMENT FOR NOTHING. We’ve had our dirty clothes hamper since we got married. In twelve years of use and three kids climbing on it to sit on the bathroom counter so they can reach the sink, it is far from mint condition. Vicki mentioned the other day at breakfast that she would be looking for a new one. Ben misunderstood and thought Vicki had said she would be buying a hamster. He had about five seconds of excitement before we brought him back down to earth. He has recovered quite well though. At bedtime he announces that he is taking his dirty clothes to the hamster now.

Ben did have some genuine excitement Wednesday night of last week (the 4th). The activities at church ran a bit long and we were behind schedule on getting everyone to bed when we got home. To make matters worse, all the kids needed to take a shower that night. As Jenna was bathing Vicki told Ben to clean up the living room. I happened to be a few steps ahead of him as he headed off to do his chore. When I turned on the light we surveyed a clean room and I said, “Well, Ben, it looks like you don’t have to do anything in here tonight.” When this stroke of luck sunk in he flopped down on the ottoman and said, “Oh Lord, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!”

OFFERINGS OF PRAISE is the name of the musical our choir performed at church this evening. They did a great job! After church all the choir members and their families went to Jimmie and Susanne Pitt’s house (next door for us) to celebrate a job well done. It was a perfect evening for an outdoor party.

MR. JOHN DRIVES HIS FIRST CAR HOME (2 of 4--by Nola Simmons). Do you remember way back when autos first came to this country? Well, Mr. John was one of the first men around home to buy one of these new contraptions.

Way back then, people didn’t have garages for their cars as they do today. They just put them in the barn. Now Mr. John had a barn right close to the house. He and Angie talked it over and decided that the barn was just the right place for the car.

Mr. John went to town and bought his new car--paid cash for it, too--“By Granny”. The car man showed him how to put it into gear--how to crank it up; and maybe showed him how to guide it a little. Anyway Mr. John decided he was all ready to drive it home.

Now do you remember how the roads were way back then? They were not paved at all. Part of the way, they were very muddy, and the small streams had no bridges across them at all.

Do you remember how it felt when you saw one of these contraptions coming down the road? “Y everybody looked and looked and looked.” The mules and horses didn’t like those autos one bit. They were afraid of them.

Well, Mr. John put his car into gear, cranked it up, and got in and started home.

Chug, chug, chug

Bump, bump, bump

Sput, sput, sput

And the farther he went--the faster he drove until, when he got home he was going so fast that he whizzed into the barn and forgot how to stop the car--so he whizzed through the back-end of the barn and that car--and Mr. John landed right on top of the biggest chicken coop-- where he killed his motor. Angie came running out of the house to see what on earth had happened!

But Mr. John just stuck his head out the side of the car and stroked his goat-tee and said, “By Granny, Angie, how did I get up here?”

NOTE: This story is accompanied by a painting by Miss Simmons with the title of the story. It shows what looks like a Model T driving down a muddy road with the chug, bump and sput sounds coming from the car.

Joe

Introducing Mr. John

The trees are just starting to turn colors now. It is predicted that we will have a more vibrant fall than we’ve had the last few years. And with the Pinsons and other farmers picking corn, and Steve and Connie Freeland now open to sell pumpkins and let you get lost in their corn maze, it has truly begun to feel like autumn has arrived.

FIELD TRIP. Ben has been looking forward to his first field trip. All the kindergarten classes at his school went to the Nashville Zoo on Friday. Vicki went as a chaperone. Ben has been counting the days for this ever since Wil’s party. They had a perfect day for the trip, and they really enjoyed it. Vicki was also in charge of one of Ben’s classmates, Riley. She said Riley had more food for lunch than she and Ben together.

At one point Vicki had to call Riley back as he was running ahead of them. As Riley came back Ben said to him, “I told you to listen to her. She can be mean.”

KIDISMS. Jenna informed us yesterday that she would no longer be making up her bed on Sundays as it’s a day of rest.

The other day when Ben was packing to spend the night with Mom and Aunt Mar he was listing all the things he had packed with us to make sure he hadn’t forgotten anything. His list went something like this, “shorts, shirt, underwear, animals, jamamas?--jamamas?--jamamas?--jamamas?” When he got stuck on that word he kept looking like he knew something was wrong but he couldn’t figure out what it was. When I finally said “pajamas” it all clicked for him.

SHOPPING FUN. Vicki is still faithful to her diet and is steadily getting to her goal. This is causing her to have to redo her whole wardrobe. She has gotten rid of four bags of clothes that no longer fit.

Two of Vicki’s really good friends are Michelle Garst and Tracy Cockroft. They went shopping Saturday at the Catholic Ladies of Charity consignment sale. You can find some really good deals there as well as things you can’t imagine anyone in their right mind designing.

When these three are together a good time is had by all (right Angi?). They had a great time calling out to each other suggestions of some hideous clothes. In the dressing room they were cutting up and critiquing the outfit each one was trying on. They got to having so much fun that total strangers were joining in on the fun, giving opinions and asking for feedback.

I think Weight Watchers went out the window when they ate lunch after shopping. Vicki says you can’t eat by the rules ALL the time.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY. Saturday was Pauline’s birthday. We celebrated with a big dinner at her house this evening. Jenna and Ben spent a lot of time making birthday cards for her. Ben dictated what he wanted written in his card and later he was giddy just thinking about what he had me write. Here’s his message, “Happy Birthday! Thank you for giving me all those sweets when I spend the night. I love you. Amen. Benton.”

SERIES INTRODUCTION. The other day I stopped at Aunt Mar’s to pick up the kids (they get off the bus there). She had been going through a drawer in her dresser and ran across a notebook she shared with me. Inside were four essays about her grandfather, John Hancock (1849-1930, my great-great-grandfather). These essays are really neat and I thought I’d share them exactly as written over the next few weeks as “MR. JOHN” stories.

John Hancock married Angeline Bell. They had six children. Their oldest son, Jim, was Aunt Mar’s father. A daughter of Jim's we all call Aunt Scrap (John Arianna) lived next door to Aunt Mar as she was growing up. She married Len Work. Aunt Mar’s dad and Uncle Len ran a country store. Aunt Mar remembers pumping gas when it was $0.20 a gallon.

The essays were written by Nola Simmons. Miss Simmons was a nurse and never married. She served in the Army in World War II, in Italy, I think. Miss Nola lived with Aunt Scrap after Uncle Len died in 1952 because Aunt Scrap’s health was starting to fail. Miss Nola must have written these essays as she and Aunt Scrap talked.

MR. JOHN (1 of 4). May I introduce you to Mr. John? Now Mr. John wasn’t nearly as tall as Mr. Jones over here, nor nearly as fat as Mr. Hatcher. Mr. John was a short thin man that sorta reminded you of Rip Van Winkle--except that Mr. John hadn’t been asleep for twenty years. He was very much alive.

Mr. John was a kind old gentleman, but a funny one too, who liked to make people laugh. He never said ugly words. He just stroked his goat-tee and said “By Granny”.

We kids used to get so tickled at Mr. John’s “goat-tee”. He sat with his head back so that “goat-tee” stuck almost straight out in front.

Mr. John and his ‘goat-tee live dearly in our memories.

NOTE: Aunt Mar remembers her grandfather was short. When driving he was not tall enough to see over the steering wheel but looked through it as he headed down the road. Now that you’ve formed a picture of Mr. John you’ll be ready for the next story.

Joe