Good-Bye, Pauline

Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth.

Worship the LORD with gladness;

come before him with joyful songs.

Know that the LORD is God.

It is he who made us, and we are his;

we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.

Enter his gates with thanksgiving

and his courts with praise;

give thanks to him and praise his name.

For the LORD is good and his love endures forever;

his faithfulness continues through all generations.

Psalm 100

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Pauline passed into the presence of our God and King last night at 10:35 in fulfillment of the promise made to each of us that trusts Jesus Christ to be Lord and Savior of our lives. She had placed her faith in Jesus when she was a girl as she walked to school one day. The kids and I went to visit Pauline yesterday afternoon. After a three hours visit I took them home and had just returned at Vicki's request. Vicki was holding her mom's hand and singing hymns to her when Pauline slipped peacefully from her sick body.

I have really struggled with what to write about Pauline's health all month. It has been hard to be accurate without sounding insensitive or pessimistic. Several times over the last three and a half weeks we've had glimpses of hope that she would at least stabilize and stay with us for a while longer. Even earlier this week, when we knew her death was imminent, we felt she would be with us through this weekend which is why Will, Darice, and the kids returned home Wednesday. They were on the road coming back here when Pauline passed away.

It is also hard to write about Pauline's passing on this blog knowing that this will become a record my family and I will look back on in the years to come. There is such a finality to reading what I have just written. It is one thing to pass the word along by phone or email, but it's different for me when I sit down to write here. Tears do not come easily for me when I am sad, but when I have written about Aunt Ruth's, Uncle Paul's, and now Pauline's deaths I have wept.

I remember first meeting Pauline when I went home with Vicki to Camden. It was June 1992 and we had just started dating. She was so quiet and reserved I really didn't know what to make of her. That quiet loving-kindness is a characteristic I would come to cherish as I got to know her. Pauline had a unique way of accepting and loving people just as they are. It was very easy to simply be yourself around Pauline and know that you were loved. I have always said I got a great package deal when I married Vicki.

Pauline moved here from Camden in March 2003, less than a month after Nate was born. While Jenna has early memories of her house in Camden, Pauline has been the grandma next door for the last seven years. I rarely walked over there without checking the kitchen cabinet for cookies. Our lives are forever changed because she will no longer be across the field ready to keep the kids or mend our clothes. Pauline made all the curtains in our house. She also reupholstered a chair in our bedroom, and she made many of the pillow covers that adorn on our beds and chairs. She has done so much for us I will always feel indebted to her, but every time I did a chore for her she'd say, "Thank ye 'til you're better paid."

Grandma's was a place our kids went to be spoiled. They could count on her to let them take over the TV, and eat anything and as much as they wanted. Within the last year I went over to Pauline's house one evening when Jenna was spending the night there, and when I walked in the two of them were sharing the recliner watching TV. I know she loved watching them walk across the field to her house.

Pauline made pajamas for all our kids, but the best was the floral pajamas she made for Jenna with a matching moo moo for herself. She also made pajamas for Ben that had little bitty hearts all over them (they looked like dots to her). He never minded wearing them to bed. I always thought of Pauline as a big mother bear who loved us all.

I always laughed at Pauline when she traveled with us. She worked as a door greeter at the Camden Wal-Mart until she moved here. We never passed a Wal-Mart, no matter where we went, that she didn't say something about going in to see it.

Pauline was always pleasant. I never heard her speak sharply (though the boys could test that) or say a cross word. She always spoke kindly of everyone she knew. When Aunt Mar was told of Pauline's this morning she said, "This is like losing a good sister." She leaves a big hole in our lives.

The funeral arrangements are as follows: We will have a memorial service at our church, Mt. Carmel, Sunday afternoon at 4:00 with visitation there at the church beginning at 2:00. Monday we will go to Sandy Point General Baptist Church (Pauline's church back home) and have a memorial service there at 2:00 with visitation beginning there at 12:00. Pauline will be buried next to her husband, Jessie, and infant daughter, Martha, at the Crossroads Missionary Baptist Cemetery. Bro. Bill will be officiating both services.

The weathermen have predicted that we will get 3-5 inches of snow, maybe more. We already have over two inches on the ground. Of all the weekends for them to get it right...

Joe

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Pauline's obituary--

Pauline Phifer Jones, age 77, of Springfield, passed away Thursday, January 28, 2010 at Alive Hospice-Skyline, Madison Campus. Visitation with the family will be held at Mt. Carmel Baptist Church on Sunday, January 31, 2010 from 2-4pm with a service at 4pm. On Monday, February 1, 2010 visitation will be held at the Sandy Point General Baptist Church in Camden, TN from Noon until the time of Service at 2pm. Dr. Bill Owen will be officiating both services. Burial will follow in the Crossroads Missionary Baptist Church Cemetery in Camden with family and friends serving as pallbearers.

Mrs. Jones was born in Camden, Tennessee to the late Audie and Zora Townsend Phifer on September 30, 1932. She was a homemaker and member of Mt. Carmel Baptist Church. In addition to her parents she is preceded in death by her husband, William Jessie Jones; daughter, Martha Ann Jones; and brother, Joe Phifer. Mrs. Jones is survived by her son, William Tommy (Darice) Jones of Athens, GA; daughter, Vicki Lea (Joe) Swann of Springfield; grandchildren, Cameron Paul Jones, Zachary Andrew Jones, Jenna Lea Swann, Benton Caner Swann, Nathan Thomas Swann and Emily Katherine Jones. Mrs. Jones is also survived by many loving friends.

The family requests memorial contributions be made to the Mt. Carmel Baptist Church Building Fund or to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, both may be sent in c/o Austin & Bell.

Austin & Bell Funeral Home is in charge of these arrangements.

Following the Wind

The wind is blowing outside. It’s the tail end of a storm that came through last night. It reminds me of what Jesus said about the Holy Spirit in a late night conversation with Nicodemus (see John 3). I find comfort in the fact that the Spirit of God is at work all around me. When I look closely I see the results of His work all over the place.

HOSPICE CARE. Pauline was moved to Alive Hospice at the Skyline Madison campus (the old Tennessee Christian Hospital) on Wednesday. We are very impressed with this facility. Pauline has a private room and the staff couldn’t be better to her.

Since leaving the hospital Pauline has begun to talk more. Her feeding tube was removed at her request. When she found out Ensure was available she said, “They didn’t tell me that. A person could starve to death in here.” Since then she’s even eaten a little food (it’s all been fluids, though she’s turned down the Ensure).

I’ve taken the kids over to see her more frequently since they are free to visit. Pauline had really perked up Friday night and yesterday and we’ve had a wonderful chance to laugh and cry together. The Jones family are back in from Georgia. Please pray with us that the good days outnumber the bad.

AN UPDATE ON ETHAN. I’ve not mentioned Ethan much here since someone maintains a web site for him with first hand information (you can find it at http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/bibb). However, I do want to mention that Ethan has finished all of his planned cancer treatments now. Ethan was at church today. This time he left his wheelchair at home and used a walker!

I’d like to ask you to pray for Ethan and his family this week. Tuesday Ethan will have an MRI to check to see the effect all these treatments have had on his cancer. The results will determine whether he will receive more treatments or not.

The beautiful part of Ethan’s story so far is how so many people have pulled together to stand by him and his family. The church, and I mean the greater church in our community, has been an Acts 2 church. It has been about ten months since Ethan was diagnosed with a stage IV brain tumor.

A GOOD STORY. I was working at East Robertson Elementary the other day when Michelle Graves, a teacher there, stopped me and said, “I’ve got to brag on Elizabeth.” I’ve mentioned Elizabeth, her daughter, twice in this blog a few years ago. The first time was in September 2007 when Elizabeth was taken to the hospital because she was having seizures. She’d had an arterioveneous maulformation (AVM) in her brain that had started hemorrhaging. At the time I described it as “a wad of capillaries that decided to start leaking.” Elizabeth’s outlook was not good. When the doctor came out of surgery she told Keith and Michelle there was brain damage. Her speech and motor skills were affected -- similar to a stroke victim.

When Elizabeth was well enough she went to Atlanta for rehab and the next time I wrote about her was in December 2007 when she graduated from that and was able to come back home. Michelle mentioned that December 1 trip home when we spoke the other day. She said at that time she was so pleased Elizabeth could say her name and indicate to them what she wanted.

Now that I’ve reviewed the backstory I can tell what Michelle was bragging about. Thursday night Elizabeth participated in the Robertson County 4-H Public Speaking Contest. I learned Friday morning that she won second place! Elizabeth spoke on the Ronald McDonald House. In telling about the charity’s role in providing families a place to stay so they can be near a child who is receiving medical treatment and how people can be involved she never once mentioned her own illness or how she and her mom stayed at the Ronald McDonald House in Atlanta while she was in rehab.

I stand amazed at the work of God.

Joe

Coping

Christmas break is finally over. After three snow days the kids went back to school Tuesday. Never thought I’d be putting it quite like that.

PAULINE UPDATE. Pauline has had a rough week, and there were many times we did not know what the outcome would be. Will returned from Georgia Tuesday night and brought Darice and the kids with him this time (and they are returning tomorrow).

We are taking things a day at a time. Pauline’s condition has improved, but she has a long way to go. She was moved from CCU to a floor specializing in pulmonary care last night. We are very encouraged with Pauline’s progress today. Our goal is to get her well enough to come home where we can care for her there.

AM I COMING OR GOING? With Vicki being where she should be, at her mother’s side, I have been trying to keep the home front going. I think I have met myself on the road a few times this week. We didn’t have Cub Scouts Monday because there was no school. The boys did have basketball practice Tuesday, and AWANA started back up Wednesday. The kids and I had been so busy through all this we didn’t even get to see the Jones family for two days.

Thursday afternoon Jenna had her final basketball game of the season at Greenbrier Middle School. Darice picked the boys up from school and drove to the game. I met them at the game after work. The Lady Indians did not play well in the JV game (too embarrassed to give the score) and Jenna did not get to play. The surprise was that they had time to play two extra periods for the sixth graders and Jenna got four minutes of game time in. She shot the ball twice and came ever so close, but as we reminded Jenna, close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades. She also got a good rebound and blocked one pass. I was proud of her.

Last night Darice fed and kept all the kids so I could go to the hospital. I really appreciate her for this as this visit was only the third time I’ve been able to see Pauline since she has been there.

UPWARD BASKETBALL. Nate and Ben had their first basketball games of their season today. Nate handled the ball quite a bit in his game and even scored a goal. Unfortunately, the ball was stolen from him several times as he was dribbling.

Ben had a great game today. He is playing full court now. His team won 23-12. Ben scored 13 points. The nice thing to see was that he was passing as much as he was shooting.

EMILY’S FAVORITE COLOR. Vicki brought the Jones kids to see Ben’s ball game. Emily was eating a blue ring pop so her lips, mouth, and tongue were very blue. Seeing this Vicki asked Emily if blue was he favorite color.

“I like all colors,” replied Emily.

“What about grey?“

Without missing a beat Emily gave this enthusiastic answer, ”Oh, yes! ‘Cause that’s the color of my daddy’s hair.“

SAD NEWS. The last two days at work have been emotionally hard for me. Thursday the first email I read informed me that one of our financial secretaries had lost her battle with cancer. Sharon Braswell had been fighting cancer for years. She was an infectiously positive person in spite of her illness. Sharon was two years younger than me. Her husband, Billy, was a high school classmate of mine. Sharon leaves three children.

When I walked in the office yesterday I was greeted with the news that one of our librarians, Debra Evetts, had unexpectedly lost her husband, Tracey. I know Debra pretty well, and was acquainted with Tracey. Tracey and Debra have a daughter.

ON FROZEN POND. It’s been really cold here for the last couple of weeks. We missed most of the snow predicted for last weekend, but we did get enough to cancel school. Since the kids couldn’t visit Pauline in CCU and I had a mountain of laundry to do we decided to stay here and have fun in what little snow there was. We wound up sledding in the pasture behind Todd and Sherree Totten’s house. This would have been a good thing except for all the cow patties that were frozen as hard as rocks. When Nate and I doubled on one trip down the hill they said chunks of frozen manure were flying everywhere. It was a rough ride.

Since this wasn’t working out Buzz Graves decided to test the ice on the pond with his four-wheeler. He didn’t fall through so the rest of us stepped on out. You know, a four-wheeler, a rope, and a plastic saucer are a lot of fun.

HEAT. Speaking of cold weather, we’ve gotten three heat bills since our house has been insulated. The first bill didn’t show any major change from the same month a year ago. At first I was depressed about this, but then I thought, “Maybe it just takes a certain amount of energy to heat the air in the house no matter how well the house is insulated.” This was also the billing cycle when the insulation was being blown in.

I am proud to say the investment is paying off. The last two bills have shown that we’ve used 35% less gas than the same months last year! The insulation may not pay for itself in one year, but definitely in two. Now if I can just train the boys to close the door behind them...

The boys don’t seem to feel the cold a lot of times. The other morning I overheard Nate talking to himself in the back hall as he was finding his coat to leave for school: “How cold is it? 21° ... Not that cold to me! Now Mom, she thinks it’s cold.”

CHILD ABUSE BY WATER TORTURE. Vicki Rippy, who is Nate’s teacher at school, also helps with AWANA at church. Wednesday night she came up to me laughing a what Nate had said. She had asked him what he was going to do when he got home and he replied, “Well, I guess I’m gonna have to take another shower.” He went on to explain that I had made him take a shower three nights in a row and that I should know better because he only takes showers every other night.

Joe

An Update on Pauline

For those of you who are friends of mine on Facebook some of what I will be writing here will be redundant, however, I want to take the time to update our blog for the sake of those who aren’t on Facebook as well as updating our own record. I also want to back up a bit to make sure I have set down the correct details.

The week after Christmas Pauline began to show signs of what we thought was a cold. It’s a good time of year to get a cold, and with her immune system weakened due to the chemo and radiation we all figured that’s what she had. She was also losing strength toward the end of the week which we figured was a side effect of the radiation. Pauline had a routine chest x-ray that week which did not show any problems. What we did not know (or were only vaguely aware of) was the Pauline had a sore spot on her leg that she was tending to (keep in mind she is diabetic). This became infected later.

As you know, Will, Darice, and their kids came in the last half of that week. Pauline rested a lot, regaining some strength, and enjoyed their visit. We were dreading the radiation treatments that were coming up last week because we figured they’d take a lot out of her, and Pauline still had her cold. When I brought her home from Tuesday’s treatment she was very weak, and by that evening Vicki took her to the hospital. Pauline’s condition worsened, and Thursday morning the nurse called to say she had been moved to their critical care unit. Her vital signs were all over the place and she needed a lot of medication and monitoring to try to stabilize everything. This news brought Will back to Tennessee.

There was a good 24-36 hours there where Pauline’s condition was very grim, however, by Friday evening she became more responsive and even ate a good meal. That was short-lived success.

Right now Pauline is not really any worse, and I will only venture to say that she is better in light of the fact that they are starting to wean her from many of the medications they were using to stabilize her vital signs. Today’s chest x-ray did not look as good as yesterday’s.

Right now uncertainty is normal for us. The small steps forward and backward could easily make this an emotional roller coaster. The doctor has told Vicki that Pauline’s recovery will take months. We are just happy he’s even brought up the subject of recovery. Will went back home today. We are hoping Pauline will improve enough to be moved back to a regular room this week. We aren’t thinking much beyond that.

We appreciate your prayers. Please keep it up.

Joe

A New Year, A New Decade, A Rough Start

The Christmas decorations are packed away and all the cousins are back home. Christmas break should be over except that we have snow days today and again tomorrow. Of course, the 1-3 inches that was predicted was a joke, but it was enough to make the back roads slick.

THE ROUGH START. Pauline was not feeling well last week. At first we wondered if the radiation treatments and a cold were just taking a toll on her. She was at a low ebb Thursday after her last treatment for the week, but was feeling somewhat better by Sunday (though she stayed home from church). When I took her to her radiation treatment Tuesday she was losing strength. That night she was feeling bad and Vicki took her to Skyline Medical Center.

It turns out that Pauline has pneumonia. Her condition continued to worsen through this morning when she was moved to intensive care. We were quite concerned. After seeing her this evening I am happy to report that she is no worse, and possibly a slight bit better. Her vital signs and other numbers have stabilized, and she responded to us when we were in her room. Will drove in from Georgia this afternoon.

We are encouraged at this point, but please keep Pauline in your prayers.

JONES VISIT WRAP UP. I mentioned last time the Jones family was here for a visit. They left on Saturday. We just stayed around our house and Pauline’s the whole time as it was too cold to do much else. I must say all the kids really enjoyed each other. They played games, watched movies, played the Wii, etc. They even invented a new game where each player sets up little green army men and then they take turns rolling a small ball at each other’s men. The last army with troops standing is the winner.

To touch on the ongoing Scrabble competition, this time Will lost to the middle schoolers, though he redeemed himself with a win later. They also came up with an interesting twist to the game. Now they play with a time limit on each turn. If you don’t make a word before the buzzer you lose your turn.

HEARTS. I decided now is the time to teach my kids how to play Hearts (as an intermediate step to playing Spades). One interesting twist to Hearts I recently learned is that the Jack of Diamonds can have a point value of -10. Because of this you can even have a negative score in Hearts -- which is good since the lowest score wins. Nate was tickled to death yesterday when he shot the moon and got it.

Joe