Uncle Bob

My original plan was to catch up on family happenings. I had focused so much on Jenna last time that a few things have slipped by, but a phone call from my cousin, Jim, in Florida changed all that. He called to let us know that his dad, my Uncle Bob, had passed away early yesterday evening. We had known Uncle Bob’s health was failing as he had recently fallen and begun to receive hospice care, however, his passing at this time is a little surprising for me at least.

This morning Jim wrote a most poignant tribute to his father which he posted on Facebook. He has given me permission to share his post here.

Dad died yesterday at 6:30 pm [EDT] after a slow, gentle decline into dementia. From how to fish (which is not the same as catching) to holding doors for ladies, rolling houses, Marklin trains, knowing your opponent, baseball, scouts, and breakfast casseroles (which I made this morning), Dad taught me to work hard, play hard, enjoy ALL of God’s Creation, and to have fun in the time spent here. Dad loved music of all types, but I learned how to sing in the pew, holding his hand, on Sunday mornings and praising God together! This morning in church I’ll probably cry, but I can’t dream what it must be like for Dad to get to worship his Friend and Creator with all the heavenly hosts!

I will confess that I never got to truly know and appreciate Uncle Bob until I was an adult. This is not to say he wasn’t part of my childhood. He most certainly was as he had retired from his military career by the time I came along and since he was a high school teacher in his second career our families visited each other regularly. When we got together Mom, Aunt Mar, and Aunt Linda all had each other to visit with; Jim and I had each other to play with; Ann Beth would move back and forth between us, playing with me and Jim when we were on board games and listening to the women talk when we broke out the army men; but with my Dad and Uncle George gone Uncle Bob was sort of on his own. The only time he ever had another man to talk to was the time or two they visited while Aunt Carrie and Uncle Ed were in from Arizona. I have often wondered if he felt like a fifth wheel.

As an adult I discovered Uncle Bob’s kind and considerate character. He was full of stories and advice but was also willing to listen and share about life the times he and I got a chance to talk alone. And one thing any parent appreciates is seeing another adult pay loving attention to their kids. He always made it a point to talk to Jenna, Ben, and Nate and have fun with them. I will never forget the pride he had in presenting Jenna her dollhouse. Here’s what I wrote about that on January 10, 2004.

On Monday Jenna got a very special gift. We went over to Aunt Mar's house for supper and exchanged our Christmas presents with the Cotters. Jenna was presented with a dollhouse that Uncle Bob had built for her. He spent about a month working on it in his spare time and Aunt Linda lent her skills as interior designer. It is a beautiful three story house with seven rooms. They brought it up with them when they visited back in the fall and it had been hidden away until now. Jenna also received furniture from various relatives to furnish most of the rooms. G'Anne and Aunt Mar gave her a doll family. Thank you Uncle Bob for all the work you put into this heirloom. And thank you Aunt Linda for putting up with the construction in you dining room and kitchen. Jenna is one happy home owner!

Back then Aunt Linda and Uncle Bob made several stops in Tennessee each year as they drove to see Ann Beth and her family who lived in New Jersey at the time. Those visits were so special and I miss them. Those were the times I had to get to know Uncle Bob and come to treasure our relationship.

When we were together it was a family tradition to play Spades. There have been lots of exciting games played at Aunt Mar’s kitchen table and Uncle Bob was a big part of those. I found this story from July 1, 2006, as I looked back through the Swann Family News archives.

Speaking of Spades, Mom and Uncle Bob had one really memorable game. During the bidding phase, Aunt Mar and Aunt Linda decided to go blind low. With that bid on the table, Mom, who is normally a conservative bidder, looked at Uncle Bob and said, “Let’s do 10 for 200.” The clincher was that Aunt Mar and Aunt Linda were set during that hand giving their opponents a 400 point lead. I hear Uncle Bob kept the score sheet as a souvenir.

Another family tradition was going out to eat at the Catfish House in Springfield. They didn’t have an official visit if we didn’t squeeze that in. It was such a tradition that when we went there in 2004 for my birthday when Aunt Linda and Uncle Bob were not visiting the following happened.

As we sat down at the table Ben [age 4 then] spotted a gentleman at another table with black and gray hair. Tugging on my sleeve he asked, "Daddy, can I go over there and say hi to Uncle Bob?" (Uncle Bob, you may live in Florida but you belong at the Catfish House in Ben's mind.)

I found the following story from my third newsletter on September 20, 2003, and I can still see this happening in my mind as if it happened yesterday.

We all went out to eat at the Catfish House in Springfield last night. After supper Jenna and Ben were given a few coins to throw into the fountain out front. Ben's aim was a little short because of the planter around the fountain. Uncle Bob took a penny to demonstrate how to throw underhanded to Ben. His coin sailed neatly into the air, hit the rim of the fountain and bounced into the mulch below bringing cheers of delight to the rest of the family looking on.

I recall that he was a good sport in the midst of the ribbing and cackling that went on.

Uncle Bob was still the gentle host when we visited him back in October, and he proudly showed us all the flowers that were in bloom then. He did not know who I was and probably forgot all about me by the time I was back in the van, but his character, those fundamental pieces of the man he is, were still there and I’m glad I got to visit my Uncle Bob.

Uncle Bob, at the age of 88, was my last surviving uncle.

Joe